Scales of Mama

C major scale on guitar

C major scale on guitar (Photo credit: Ethan Hein)

This morning I was chatting in an off-topic section of the writer’s forum, and the subject turned to musical instruments.  One friend posted a photo of her dream flute.  Very fancy.  One friend posted a picture of her dream guitar.  Funny enough, it happened to be a photo of my favorite guitar, a Gretsch.  Yeah, I know I don’t play guitar (or anything else) but I love that hollow body sound.  Then I told her about Nerd Child’s electric guitar, made for him by a super cool luthier in the East Village.  One of those New York secrets,  you have to have a referral, call and leave a message, appointment only, high quality for great prices.

Wish I had a better photo of it.

Wish I had a better photo of it.

I began looking through my photos, trying to find a pic of Nerd Child’s guitar.  I knew I had a few in a folder somewhere.  I found them, but didn’t post or send them.  Because then I just started looking through these photos, all downloaded from my old phone.  And several videos, short clips of Nerd Child playing and singing.

He hates when I video him.  He isn’t shy, never had or has a problem getting up on stage and performing.  This is a kid who didn’t hesitate to quote Eminem when he gave a speech at his middle school graduation.  In church.  At the alter.  Nothing inappropriate, but not what you’d call a shy choice.  Nope.  It’s a mom/kiddo thing.  You know, “Mo-om.”

I adore each of my kids.  They are individuals, and as such, I feel like I have an individual relationship with each of them.  I cook and wax philosophical with Man Child.  I can be smooshy and explore museums with Flower Child.  Nerd Child is the one I was able to share my love of Stephen King with.  Seriously, watching him read The Stand was pure Nerd Mama joy.

I spent a good chunk of the morning watching and listening to these little video clips, thinking about how much I miss him and feeling a bit weepy leaky.  None of the videos are recent.  I don’t care.  He isn’t a hugger.  I get it, neither am I–except for my kiddos.  Yanno, I’m mo-om, so he doesn’t feel the same exception.  But he’s got this rich, deep warm voice that makes me feel like he’s giving me a hug when he sings.  His spring break is about to start but he’ll be gone for half of it, on a service trip to help build a house.

I’m happy he’s happy.  We video chat when we can, or a quick note or link through Facebook, a text…but he’s busy up at school.  That’s why he’s there, so he can do and experience all he wanted to do and experience.  I’m lucky. He’s healthy, a good guy, grounded, great judgement, an excellent sense of humor.  He’s beautifully supportive of my writing, I think he was genuinely happy for me when we spoke the other day and I told him about agent requests.  But I miss his youtube playlists coming from the desktop while I grumble into my coffee and start the day, ranging from classic rock to classical, meringue, show tunes, rap, alternative.  I miss him.  I’m looking forward to him coming home and seeing my funky new glasses, raising that eyebrow and shrugging as he says, “If you like them, Mom.”

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  1. you make me leak ❤ I wish I had natural musical talent. I can play piano but I need a LOT of practice. I tool lessons as an adult. My dream instrument would be a white, Schiller Baby Grand. I designed a room around it. (all white, with the exception of a red leather couch and a Picasso) I'm such a dreamer, sigh


    1. I have no musical talent, but love music, and all 3 of my kids are talented.
      Very, very cool that you took lessons as an adult. I don’t think I have the focus to learn anymore–but I know a hell of a red leather couch. 😀


  2. Aww you’re a good mommy! I love the way you treat your children as individuals and have found wonderful ways to be with them in meaningful ways for all of you.
    Diana xo


  3. Gotta love it when those crazy writers get to babbling over off-topics. 😉 I tried teaching kiddo to play flute. He wouldn’t have it. He taught himself guitar, though, and he’s pretty good at it. I just hope he keeps at it wherever he lands through life. The gift of musical aptitude is too special to waste. Keep encouraging Nerd Child. It means everything to him.


    1. Oh, those writers 😀
      Make sure your guy brings his guitar–he’ll use it. I have a neighbor who’s a flutist, love hearing her practice.

      I completely agree with you re music, but I doubt Nerd Child will pursue it beyond a hobby level. His interests are wide and varied, right now he’s exploring them all. 🙂


      1. At 21, your kid’s interests are supposed to be wild and varied. Just proves you’re a good mama encouraging him to find good hobbies. Kiddo’s probably going to get a better guitar in the states. He doesn’t have a case for his current one. I can’t see him giving that up. It’s in his blood.


        1. You know I have 3 kiddos, right? 😉
          Nerd Child is 16 😀
          Man Child (also varied interests) is 21 and plays sax. 🙂

          Eek! A case has to be high on the list of things for your kiddo to get ❤


          1. Oops, I confused NC with MC. Yep, knew ya had 3. Insane, woman. Insane. You’re either a lot stronger or more insane than I am…and I can’t imagine the latter.

            I agree…instrument case needed when travelling. 😉

            He’ll learn.


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