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For Lilly: Blue for You?

  • “Whoever performs his part with most agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured silk; the red is given to the next, and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice around the middle; and you see few great persons about this court who are not adorned with one of these girdles.” ~Gulliver’s Travels
  • **Lilly, If you read this, please send me an email.  msfringe123 @ gmail.com  (yah, the email addy is ms, not mrs–without the spaces, of course)

I hope the rest of my Fringelings had a good day today.  I’d love to check, but I can’t, because something is wrong with my internet connection, and I can’t seem to stay connected for more than 2-3 minutes at a time without getting bounced.  It’s taken me an hour to try and get on long enough to type this, perhaps it will be posted by morning.  I hate/love/neeeeeed my internetz.  Good for writing, not good for researching, and not good because I think I missed some kind of something on the writer’s forum today, and now can’t contact a new writing friend.  Have I mentioned aargh?!

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift (Photo credit: infomatique)

Five Cent Return

Description unavailable

Description unavailable (Photo credit: B Tal)

I don’t love to grocery shop.  This is unfortunate, because here in Manhattan, it’s something that needs to be done frequently.  Any and everything you buy has to be carried home, and most of us don’t have large refrigerators, freezers, or storage space for stocking up.  Add in the knowledge that you can walk outside and hit any number of stores within a few blocks, and there isn’t the same pressure to remember everything you need in one shot.

The cost of groceries here, outrageous.  I know this is so because when we’ve gone on vacation and shopped for groceries at stores geared towards ripping off tourists,  while the other customers are grumbling I’m skipping through the aisles, filling the cart and trying to decide what’s practical to take home.  I try to shop at Trader Joe’s as much as possible, it’s a significant savings compared to the other groceries that are much closer.  But it isn’t always practical, it’s twenty four blocks away.  So if I’m doing a bigger shop, great! Worth the cost of the cab ride home, still saving.  But if I only have twenty minutes to get there, shop, and come home, don’t need much, or I need things they don’t carry (like regular white or brown rice), it doesn’t make sense.

Grocery Store #1

Grocery Store #1 (Photo credit: wgdavis)

I trek to Whole Foods for rice and flour (cheapest in the area, I buy it from their bulk containers, they have enough of a turnover that it’s always fresh) and soy milk for Flower Child (yes, their brand of soy milk is the absolute lowest price).  For the certain basics or when I’m running out, I go to one of the two cheapest groceries in the area.  Both conveniently located within three blocks of my apartment.  They don’t look like the artsy photo above.  Dark, dingy, cleanliness is questionable, the cashiers are surly, don’t even think of asking for help from a stocker for something you can’t reach, aisles are crazy narrow–any number of which are usually blocked by boxes waited to be unloaded–and if you’re smart, you’ll check expiration dates of everything before bringing anything home.

I just ran to one of the two “inexpensive” stores this morning.  If you’re curious, a gallon of low fat, non-organic milk is $4.89 there, a half gallon is $2.99.  A gallon of store brand distilled water for top-offs for the reef tank,* $1.19.  Honey-Nut Cheerios, 12.9 oz box, $5.39.  Navel (not organic) oranges, .99 each.  One loaf of sliced wheat bread, $4.19.  A 10 oz “brick” of Cafe Bustelo–about as far from fancy coffee as you can get, $4.69.  To be fair, Bustelo goes on sale regularly.  Five years ago the sales were two bricks for $5, two years ago it became 2 for $6, now it’s 2 for $7.   I have to make a new batch of doggie gumbo tomorrow, so I bought a pound of cheapo ground beef, $3.63, and a pound of ground chicken, $4.29.

Getting the picture?  Chasing in four different directions for the cheapest prices, reasonable quality (yanno, fresh and none of those free pets that skitter across the counter as you unload), calculating, carrying, it’s exhausting.  Screw cooking, between the financial, physical, and stress tolls I don’t even want to eat.

Over twenty years ago, I had a friend who theorized the nickel deposit on bottles was instated in NY as a way for the homeless to get money to feed themselves.  Was he onto something?  I don’t know, don’t remember his entire argument, but he was one of those people who could argue anything and have you believe he was brilliant.  But while I do see plenty of homeless grabbing cans and bottles out of the corner trash cans, the real business of it is with the senior citizens.  On days when the recycling bags get put out on the street for pickup, I find seniors by every large apartment building, filling carts and Hefty bags with empty bottles.  These are not days you want to find yourself in a hurry at the aforementioned less expensive grocery stores, because you’ll be on line forever, waiting for the elderly gentleman ahead of you to have each bottle and can checked and tallied before he can turn around and shop.  Think about my little shopping list above, that’s a lot of nickels; many, many bottles to carry.  Individual, older people trying to feed themselves off of a fixed income, not organized groups with a vehicle to get to the big redemption center.

At night, in these stores, you find what Man Child calls the shuffle of shame.  On line to buy a forgotten gallon of milk, you often find yourself behind two seniors cashing in bottles, three finance-looking or professional people who are embarrassed to find themselves in this grocery store (but it’s a dollar cheaper for that box of Cheerios here than in the cleaner, higher end grocery stores), and a stinky guy buying dish detergent.  But sometimes you also find one of those New York moments.  The elderly woman who’s come back with her shopping cart, straight to the sighing, texting cashier ahead of everyone else on line. And the cashier rolls her eyes, holds out her hand, and takes the jar of applesauce from the woman, pops the seal and hands it back, so the senior can go home and eat it.  She couldn’t open it by herself in her apartment, and needed a little help.

Beverage container redemption center

Beverage container redemption center (Photo credit: Hobo Matt)

*Reef tanks use salt water.  Water evaporates, salt doesn’t, so you have to “top off” the tank with fresh water.  Because these are very delicate critters, tap water can’t be used.  Most reefers buy and run an RO/DI water filter, so they can use tap.  With a very tiny kitchen, and even tinier (1) bathroom, I can’t tie up a faucet or use the space needed to run these filters, so I buy distilled.

 

SAD Sunday Blues

I have a very specific distaste for Sundays.  Something about them has always stressed me out, it’s the day I’m most likely to feel depressed (especially during the winter), regardless of what days I was working, what’s planned for the week, etc.  It doesn’t help at all that the temperature outside is dropping again, with the wind blowing garbage on and off my terrace.  This is my official Sunday song:

Oh Aretha, her voice makes my heart weep.  Very unfortunate that my rendition makes everyone else’s ears weep.

Not a terrible day today, as Sundays go.  If I ignore the fact that it’s been a full week since I had a reasonable and uninterrupted night’s sleep.  I got a positive critique for the short story I worked on last week.  Man Child helped me do the shopping before he leaves for school this evening.  And yes, now he’s totally back to school, not popping in and out during his internship. The week’s gumbo is made for the dogs, Flower Child and I have at least four days worth of clean underwear, and it’s a four day weekend for FC.

I did some writing this morning, not enough, but some, back to the WIP.   Whenever I have to close the file, stopping earlier than I want to, I always swear I’m going to write again later in the afternoon or evening, but it just doesn’t happen.  Lose my focus, lose my energy.

So what do you do on your blah days, when you can’t just go back to bed, but also can’t be productive in the way you’d like?

Flower Child is feeling a little better, able to eat a bit again, so I made cookies.  Now someone tell me how to avoid going into the kitchen until tomorrow, so I don’t have to see the pot from the gumbo and the bowls from making the cookies.

Here, have a snickerdoodle, it will help you think.

I'm pretty sure enough cinnamon will cure anything, including the Sunday blues.

I’m pretty sure enough cinnamon will cure anything, including the Sunday blues.

Two Days Late and Two Dollars Short

Jacopo da Ponte - St Valentine Baptizing St Lu...

Jacopo da Ponte – St Valentine Baptizing St Lucilla – WGA01452 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Saint Valentine, patron saint of love, lovers, beekeepers, epilepsy, fainting, plague, and travelers.  He was one busy dude.

Since this week included Valentine’s Day and I’m writing a romance, I was thinking about romance; the ways it can be defined, the different meanings, and how those representations have changed for me over the years.  Yeah, yeah, I’m a little late for a Valentine’s Day post.

I don’t remember thinking about romance or Valentine’s Day as a kid, certainly it wasn’t the standard it has become for each child to come to class with a card for each classmate and a candy stuck into each one.  I don’t remember it being in our home, either.  My parents were very practical people, something like buying a heart shaped box of chocolates  would have sent my father up on his political soap box to deliver a long, loud lecture–possibly pulling out the Encyclopedia Brittanica for back up and illustrations.  Not that he never bought my mother flowers or gifts (not regularly, but it happened), but the idea of being expected to do so because of a Saint, or worse, Hallmark, was just the type of thing to make his head explode.

Vinegar Valentine, circa 1900

Vinegar Valentine, circa 1900 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I was a teenager, oh I loved all that shit.  Pretending I didn’t, of course.  But really, what teenaged girl doesn’t love gifts of chocolates, flowers, white teddy bears with red ribbons, maybe a splinter of a gold charm that must surely mean dedication, pledges of undying adoration from anonymous sources?  Trust me, they all love it, or some variation.  Vegan, hemp wearing girlfriend?  Organic fair trade chocolates.  Or maybe a bong with a rose painted on it, put Sugar Magnolia on the iPod.  Even the girls wearing thick black eyeliner to match flat-died black hair, wearing spikes around their neck.  Stick a black ribbon around the damned box, pierce the teddy bear’s tongue and they’ll be certain you really, truly “get” them.

Romance as an adult, though.  That changes.  And I’m not talking about secksy times.  It means different things to different people.  I focus on women because I’ve got girly bits.  I have to say one of the top three romantic moments I ever experienced with Husband was the first time he insisted I take my pants off so he could iron them.  Strange? Certainly.  But it represented something.  After eleventy billion years together, though, it isn’t quite the same moment.  I can identify and create romance inside my head that work for a manuscript, the off balance rush of hormones in overdrive and  falling in love.  Between Husband and I, we were never big on “traditional,” commercial romantic moments.  As life got busier and more complex, the untraditional romantic moments have gotten lost in the shuffle.  Maybe this is the stage where it would be nice to have the traditional, commercial moments acknowledged, if only to counteract the effects of SAD and sick kiddo.  I find myself wondering what romance means at this stage, with frenetic days of each of us running our separate wheels inside of one cage.  A bonus slice of carrot?  Fresh shavings?

I don’t know, but I’m also wondering if Flower Child will notice if I steal one of the chocolates from the box I bought her.  Probably not, so I won’t.

What does romance mean to you?

valentine!

valentine! (Photo credit: maximolly)

DIY IVs and Dreadlocks

Glucose

Glucose (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Flower Child has been sick for four days now, koalaed to me since Sunday morning.  Life with a medical needs kiddo is…interesting.  It’s never just a sniffle.  Forget about secondary sinus infections, we see things like seizures.  And pleurisy–which is extra special, because she doesn’t cough, so that type of diagnosis is always a sucker punch delivered in a crowded ER at 2AM.   So, I’ve been working on trying to keep her hydrated and home.  She dehydrates quickly, hence my not so funny when you live it DIY IV joke.  Pedialyte and lollypops.  Same as a glucose drip, no?  I’m hopeful at the moment, today has been better than the last few days, fever sticking to low grade so far, and she ate a little bit.  Just heard from the nurse at the pediatrician’s office, results from the flu swab are back, and it isn’t the flu.

Are you kidding me?  This isn’t even the flu?  Just one of several viruses making the rounds right now.  For my Flower Child, a virus that would make another child sick for a few days leaves her scary laid out for much longer.  It isn’t like I actually need to sleep or anything.  Really, an hour or two is more than enough. What’s that?  You want to know why I go through 5 espressos and 12 cups of tea each day?

Since today has been better, and I know not to make any assumptions for tomorrow, I figured it was an opportunity to hack through wash her hair.

Dreadlocks machen. Mit Hilfe eines Hundehaarkamms

Dreadlocks machen. Mit Hilfe eines Hundehaarkamms (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rapunzel long hair and extended periods of time in bed adds up to dreadlocks, forget Goldilocks.  I just spent over an hour detangling her hair. >>that photo is not Flower Child, just illustrating her hair.

Who wants to guess how much writing I’ve gotten done?  *insert cynical laugh here*  There went my 1000 words a day streak.  Though I have kept going, with a much lower word count.  I wake up every morning convinced I should be able to be more productive.  I go to bed each night chastising myself for a paltry word count.  I’m not losing two hours a day doing drop off and pick up, she’s certainly not chatting or wanting anything other than to be next to me, but this hyper-vigilant watching and listening is exhausting.  Very hard to immerse yourself in fantasy land when you’ve got a little person burning, shaking, and whimpering next to you.  So I’m on a break from the romance, working on a new short.  Progress is slow, and it’s an angry piece (shocked?) but I like how it’s taking shape.

I could write for 30 minutes or so now until I go dog walk, but I think I’m going to escape to my happy place instead.  It’s almost beach season, isn’t it?

Bora Bora

Bora Bora (Photo credit: Benoit Mahe)

I Blame Global Warming

For my absence over the past week.

Edge of the Greenland polar ice sheet  (1965)

Edge of the Greenland polar ice sheet (1965) (Photo credit: NaturaLite’s “snap decisions”)

You know those weeks where you aren’t actually sick, no head cold or flu, but don’t feel well?  Yeah.  The migraine you can beat back but won’t disappear, the stomach ache that resembles a little contractor with a blow torch in your gut.  Good times.  Still took care of all the Fringie stuff I needed to take care of, and I wrote quite a bit.

I honestly think it has something to do with the weather.  I hate the freezing cold, and I hate the 50 degrees one day and 20 the next just as much.  It drains me, and leaves more laundry than I should have to think about.

Flower Child, on the other hand, has been having a spectacular stretch of heath and energy for about 10 days.  I don’t know why, but it’s a gift and I’m taking it.

I know you all hang onto my every pearl, but just in case you’ve been living your own lives, remember the idea I had back in November?  PerNoWriFeb.  Here we are, February 1st, and I intend to push myself as much as possible to get as much writing done as I can on the WIP.  I’m excited about this, I’ve been fairly productive, and I’m about a third of the way through the first draft.  Even better, I’m finding my rhythm again, losing the flatness, and even began making notes for a short story idea that I really, really like.  *Insert happy dance here*

I’m not sure what this will mean for my blogging non-schedule.  Posts might be scarce during this month if I put all the time I can into the WIP, or I could end up blogging quite a bit because I’m excited and need to blather on.

Or my head could explode from the freaking jackhammers that have been drilling every damn day for weeks now.

exploding planet.

exploding planet. (Photo credit: Alexis Breaux)

Plucked, Tucked, and Fucked

¿Rolling Stones? No, gracias

¿Rolling Stones? No, gracias (Photo credit: alvarezperea)

As a no longer young woman who doesn’t travel with the movers and shakers of society, it sometimes takes me a while to hear about trends and movements.  Last night, I saw an article on Facebook that horrified me.  So much so, I suspected it was a hoax, and googled.  Labiaplasty.  Not a hoax. A (sur)real cosmetic plastic surgery, available at a doctor’s office near you.  Heh.

Just in case you’re as behind the times as I am, labiaplasty is a surgery to trim, or completely remove, a woman’s inner labia.  Ready for the kicker?  This is a purely optional procedure.

So I ranted with my feminist FB buddies for a bit, and then kept googling.  I did find instances of women who said they chose to have the procedure done for more than aesthetic reasons, citing discomfort when running or biking.  I read about one woman who said she was tired of her lips falling out of her underwear.  Now those are lips.  Except when I continued reading, it turns out she was referring to thong underwear. What’s that, dear?  Your dental floss isn’t as comfortable as you’d like it to be?  Get off my lawn!

old lady feeding pigeons

old lady feeding pigeons (Photo credit: mvhargan)

Adult women look different from young girls, the body changes in many ways.  This surgery seems to be an effort to replicate the appearance of prepubescent girls.  As a woman, as a mother, as a sorta kinda feminist, I am appalled.  Exactly how does this fit into “first do no harm?”  Those labia aren’t like your appendix, serving no function.  They are part of your body’s natural defenses, protecting the vagina and urethra, have glands that produce secretions that kill bacteria, and I’m no gynecologist, but I’m pretty sure they help keep your urine from spraying out between the bowl and the seat.  As someone who is a designated toilet scrubber, I approve of this function.

I am naturally slim, always was.  Somehow, it’s more socially acceptable to admit to surgical body sculpting and radical diets than to say this.  We, as women, are supposed to spend our entire lives hating our images, taking ever more extreme measures to look like a continually changing physical ideal.  Men seem to be jumping on this bandwagon for themselves, can be found waiting to have their eyebrows threaded, pedicures done, chests waxed, and of course, cosmetic surgeries.

How much more can we hate ourselves?  We starve, we shave, pour hot wax and rip it off, send electric shocks through our pores, apply acid to remove layers of skin, vacuum fat, lift, tuck, stick bits of plastic on our eyeballs, we paint, we polish, tattoo, pierce, inject water, silicone, and botulism.

But after I logged off, and kept thinking, that pesky little voice in my head kept whispering.  You know the voice, the one that calls you out on your own bullshit and contradictions. Is this really so different than any other plastic surgery done for purely cosmetic reasons? I’ve never had any plastic surgery done, and I’m not likely to, but I can’t say I wouldn’t if an opportunity presented itself.  The younger, more militant me hates this.

I have what I like to think of as probiscis magnificus.  Yanno, a nose that qualifies as a shnoz.  When I was younger, the opportunity for a nose job presented itself.  Did I already hate my nose, wish it didn’t look like a mountain climbing challenge?  Yes I did.  But I  declined the offer, because it was so against my political views, my belief that each of us needs to embrace who we are, including our physical characteristics.  In other words, my shnoz is and always was a part of me, and our physical self contributes to who we become, our self image in every way.  I’d also had my nose broken twice.  It hurts like hell, and I wasn’t in a phase of life where I wanted to volunteer for pain.

At this stage in my life, though, I’m not so young, perky, or firm.  I’m in reasonably good shape, but my skin isn’t so tight.  I’ve nursed three children.  I know who I am, and understand physical changes won’t change the woman I’ve become.  So I’ve thought about it, and if I won the lottery, I might have a rhinoplasty done, and a boob lift to get the girls back to the zip code they used to reside in.  Is there a difference between these procedures and labiaplasty?  I could justify a nose job for medical reasons, the two breaks left me with scar tissue that make my nasal passages permanently stuffy and a snore that rivals an old coal train.  No justification other than vanity for a breast lift.  I think this means I don’t have the right to judge anyone else’s elective procedures.  What’s the line?

Description unavailable

Description unavailable (Photo credit: *Bitch Cakes*)

Clean Up Time

By tonight, this pile will have multiplied by three, at least.

By tonight, this pile will have multiplied by three, at least.

Bits of tree bags caught on the bottom branches. The bags are used to drag the trees through the hallways in the buildings.

Bits of tree bags caught on the bottom branches. The bags are used to drag the trees through the hallways in the buildings.

What happens to the trees in your area?  We’ll see these masses for a couple of weeks.  Then it slows to an occasional one.

Poor tree.

Poor tree.

You’ll still be able to spot an occasional, dried out husk of a tree in February–though those are usually brought out stealthily in the early morning hours, in the hopes that no one will know who left their tree up for so long.

For now, it makes walking the dogs at night a little hairy.  Between the work being done on the underground pipes and the piles of trees at the curbs, the rats are having a grand old time running around.  I think they like the bits left on the trees, or maybe they snack on the pine needles.  Either way, it gives me a shiver. Big Senile Dog isn’t interested in the rats, but he loves peeing on all those trees. All of them. Little Incredibly Dumb Dog is way too interested in the critters, growling and lunging. She doesn’t understand they’re tougher than she is, and I’m not at all certain BSD would get involved to save her.

I guess my biggest post holiday question is, can I eat the candy Nerd Child left behind?  So many tough decisions in motherhood.

I am writing.  Yet to get back into a steady rhythm, but forcing myself to write.  Trying to balance everything is tricky.  Oh, for a room of my own!   With good light for my tired eyes. And internet access.

How is everyone else’s year starting out?

Miscellaneous Photo Post

Conehead and pest

Conehead and pest

Back of the Museum of Natural History

Back of the Museum of Natural History

always something...

always something…

During the holiday season these guys move over to make room

During the holiday season these guys move over to make room

for these guys

for these guys

 

Gas line being replaced

Gas line being replaced

Pipes are laid pretty far below the surface, I think this guy is standing on one

Pipes are laid pretty far below the surface, I think this guy is standing on one

 

An unbelievable amount of time and work to lay one stretch of pipe. Gas lines, people--NO, they can't work any faster.

An unbelievable amount of time and work to lay one stretch of pipe. Gas lines, people–NO, they can’t work any faster.

DSCN2052 DSCN2053 DSCN2054 DSCN2055

Ok, I’m weird, but all of this–the fruit stands, Christmas tree stands, the literal underground workings of the city, are as much what makes New York as the museums and theaters.

 

 

 

Is That You, Hot Lips?

M*A*S*H

M*A*S*H (Photo credit: L.A.’s Filming Location Expert)

What can I say?  I needed a little break from the battering of life on the fringe. I waited and waited, but neither Hawkeye nor BJ showed to patch me up before sending me back to the front line.  (Though I swear I saw Klinger at the Thanksgiving Day parade.)

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I can’t believe it’s already come and gone. The best part? Both boys were home! Nothing cures self absorption like non stop hours of prepping, dishwashing, cooking, and more dishwashing. And of course, the time honored American tradition of kicking off the holiday season with gluttony. Do they still make Alka Seltzer?

dishpan hands

dishpan hands (Photo credit: sammydavisdog)

Man Child left early this morning, he came for the long weekend with his friend Miss Great Smile. Nerd Child leaves tomorrow morning. The nice part is they’ll both be back before long, for the Christmas break.

Miss Great Smile was a good sport, helping with prep AND she dragged Mrs Fringe into the 21st century, getting me signed up for Twitter. So please look down to the bottom left of this page and follow me.

Parenting is like anything else in life. Most things that come up are subjective, open to interpretation.  But there are certain absolute truths in mothering.

1) It always gives me warm fuzzies to have my fringelings with me. The warm fuzzies grow barbs when they leave.

2) You never get tired of Parent Teacher conferences when teachers are telling you how great kiddo is.

3) Parent Teacher conferences always suck when kiddo struggles.

4) I could really use someone reminding me to breathe when talking to the doctors at the end of any appointment with Flower Child.

5) Getting your finger caught in the front door because you couldn’t resist one last, “Did you remember to pack…?” when saying goodbye hurts like hell.

What are your absolute truths?

MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE  2012   /   &qu...

MACY’S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE 2012 / “Happy Thanksgiving” – Sixth Avenue & 42nd Street, Manhattan NYC – 11/22/12 (Photo credit: asterix611)