Mrs Fringe Wants a Do-Over

Against the rules.  Cheating.  Rupture in the time-space continuum.  But isn’t that the true definition of being a grown up, when you comprehend you don’t get any do-overs?

Fine, how about some duck tape?

Fix everything

Fix everything (Photo credit: Anders Illum)

Duck tape for a cracked life.  Because you can’t really undo what’s been done or start over.  But there are people out there who seem as if they can fix just about anything, create just about anything, with a roll or ten of tape.

Others get stuck staring at the crack.  First they pretend it isn’t there, then they can’t look away.  They touch it, push on it a bit, whip out the tape measure and chart its progress, and finally, run their tongues over it and curse the fact that their tongue is bleeding.  How about a little duck tape for use as a bandaid?

English: This is a tongue

English: This is a tongue (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Over the last year, I got tired of swallowing iron.  Unfortunately, I hate the feel of sticky fingers.  Seriously, even the thought of syrup on pancakes makes me shudder, because I hate the stick factor.  Which leads me to think about my unnatural and unhealthy love of butter.  It’s smooth, it’s comforting, it’s easy. But I’ve gained ten pounds this year, and it hasn’t fixed a damned thing.

My knee jerk avoidance reaction is to say I need spiritual duck tape.  Sounds nice, doesn’t it?  Appropriately obscure, everyone can project whatever they’d like into it.  I think Mrs Fringe has been this for me–and God knows I project whatever I want onto these pages.  Soon enough I’ll be hitting my one year blogoversary.  It’s been great, and I hope it will continue to be a cyberaddress of fun and navel gazing for a long time to come.  Not enough though.

I think women, in particular mothers-of-a-certain-age, tend to stop right here.  It’s ok, dear, a little spiritual crazy glue is all I want.  And if it isn’t all I want that’s ok, it’s all I need. See?  My fingers don’t move, my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth, and my lips are sealed shut.

It’s time to figure out how to use the damned duck tape for more than adhering myself to the same old shit.

 

 

8 comments

  1. re: My fingers don’t move, my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth, and my lips are sealed shut.

    Mrs. Fringe, I understand where you’re coming from but my feeling is, nix the super glue, even the spiritual variety. Reason being, it tends to permanently limit your options. You may find in a week or two that you ain’t real happy with the new status quo. My suggestion: peanut butter. Cheap and efficient. Plus you make friends with squirrels real easy, something to consider if you hang around a certain website. . .

    🙂

    -kkbe

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    1. Welcome to Mrs Fringe, kk! 🙂 I’m glad you’ve joined the conversation. Stick around, poke around, I’ve got a “favorites” page you can click on top that leads you to posts that hit the highlights/spectrum of Fringeland. 😀

      I admit, I do like peanut butter. And almond butter, and cashew butter… Squirrels, though…I’ll admit, it wasn’t until I explored cyberspace that I learned some people think of squirrels are cute woodland creatures. Here in the city they’re a bold nuisance. One of these days I’ll figure out which category the squirrels on that website are from 😉

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  2. When I read get the duct tape I thought it was to tape someones hands behind their back and to cover their mouth while you dragg off to a bridge over a river and toss them in……………….ok I am feeling a little strange this morning and taping and throwing someone in river is just wrong…….so lets forget I said that…………….lol Now a do over well what can I say about do overs if we could shove all the rotten stuff in a box and duct tape it shut before we attempt a do over then the do over might go ok, if not then all the rotten stuff will escape and haunt us and make the do over a fail over……………..just saying rotten stuff likes to hang around and haunt us

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    1. Well lookie kookie. Here I am thinking you’re all innocent 😉

      Rotten stuff does like to hang around, I’m liking your stuff it all in a box and duck tape it closed idea. 😀

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  3. Whenever I think of the abovementioned tape I think of the years in the making argument here between boy#2 and whoever he can lure in over duck vs duct vs Duck brand duct tape. 🙂

    Duct tape makes me think of a way to make at least semi-functional things that are too far gone to fix for real. In other words, a lot of things in my life or regarding certain diseases we live with here. Patch things up. Leaking? Crack is getting bigger? Add another strategic layer.

    Superglue …a “fix” that can end up locking you into unintended long term fallout. Good point.

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    1. My first car was a 1974 Mustang, certain key parts were held together with duct tape 😉 I may have to revisit those days for our minivan.

      But yes, I could see quite a few areas in each of our lives where a cheap and portable fix would come in handy.

      We’ll just say no to Superglue.

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  4. I have an old baseball cap – its one that fits just right and is the perfect worn shade of orange – I just can’t let it go. When the bill became to frayed to wear I just rehabbed it with duct tape – I got another couple of years out of it before I retired it. Spiritual duct tape sounds pretty good about now.

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