From the Withered Tree*

a flower blooms.

*a flower blooms.

Buddhist proverb.  I don’t think that’s a direct quote from Buddha, but it fits where my head is/has been nicely.  I’m trying.  Trying to make peace, find my peace with where I am right now.  I’m getting there.  Part of getting there for me involved taking a step back from querying and writing fiction.  Both things that bring me most of my highest highs and lowest lows, but not a whole lot of serenity.   “This sentence is perfect–I’m ready for my O. Henry award.”  “I’m never, ever going to get through this scene, all the words are poop smears.”  “OMG!  Agent SoandSo requested the manuscript, whee!!!!”   “Oh, the despair! Agent MucketyMuck never responded to the requested manuscript.  Not even a response to a nudge…I’m, I’m…not even worthy of a fuck-off, you suck.”  (For those writing friends who want to remind me rejections are for the work, not the author, I’m not referring to rejections, or agents who take a long time to respond.  I’m referring to agents who never respond, to material they requested.)

When your natural state involves letting your imagination run with “what ifs” for stories and characters and worrying about what tomorrow will bring in life, forcing yourself into the here and now isn’t so easy.  Sometimes though, it’s necessary.

This is step 1.

6:30am, yesterday morning

6:30am, yesterday morning

And of course, getting the tank together.

No really, the rituals of making RO/DI water, mixing salt, very soothing.

No really, the rituals of making RO/DI water, mixing salt, very soothing.

Powder room is just a euphemism for fish room, isn’t it?  Of course you can still use the bathroom, honey.  Just don’t touch anything.

By today I should have my Thanksgiving menu completely planned, and begun shopping.  Not a clue what I’m making yet.  I intended to look through my cookbooks and start a shopping list this morning, but when I woke up, I saw this.

Fuzzy, but it's one snail cleaning the shell of another.

Fuzzy, but it’s one snail cleaning the shell of another.

It’ll be a small table this year, I’ll figure it out.  Tuesday, when I remember the holiday is two days away and I haven’t so much as bought cranberries.

Massage is over, back to work.

Massage is over, back to work.

I’m working on it, this finding my peace.  Feeling withered, sure–but there may be some blooms to come.

8 comments

  1. Here’s make take on the Buddhist proverb. I got so tired of sending stuff out, stuff that is as good as some of the stuff I see published and selling. And getting rejected. Never could figure how Danielle Steele got her first publishing contract. And Dan Brown, yech. So I quit and never figured I would ever get things published. But I kept writing. Finally I started my blogs. Gives me an outlet for pieces less than 2000 words. My next step is to start publishing on the kindle. I have a novel and four short pieces over 3000 to 7000 words long each. Since I know the publisher, I don’t have to figure out what he wants. My kindle stuff I still have to edit and dress them up in my Sunday best. Even if you get a publisher for your novel, it will take at least 18 months to 2 years. Since you are not well-connected or famous, your book gets hidden and not on the featured tables. You have to all the marketing the same way you would have to do if you had a publisher. And anything you sell, the publisher gets 90%. So I say go the eBook route. Amazon will pay you 70% of all your sells if the eBook price is over $2.99. And use social media to get noticed. And you will find it will be easier to connect to those readers who will purchase your work.

    Like

    1. I figure there are writers who write beautifully, writers who are good storytellers and tap into what readers want (Dan Brown, Danielle Steele), and then there are those who pull off both.

      I don’t put a lot of my fiction here on the blog, but it’s been a fabulous writing venture, for essays, rants, general silliness, and fiction. 🙂

      Self pubbing is a great and growing option for many. In a lot of ways, I think it’s even harder to get noticed in the sea of self pubbing if you’re one of the unpubbed and unknown.
      For myself, I’m pulled back to sort through and find my center, and maybe then decide how I will proceed with my fiction.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences!
      🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I HATE “no reply means no”. To me, it’s equivalent to “I’m not going to dignify this with a response.” I feel it’s unprofessional. I would much rather a form. When I’m doing my research and find people who use “no reply”, I don’t sub to them.

    I also don’t know what’s happening on Thursday. I don’t know if we’re having guests, even. Ah well.

    Like

    1. I hate “no response means no” on queries, but I accept it as part of generally accepted practice in the publishing world today. But this no response on requested material? It does feel unprofessional to me–and after a polite and often friendly email exchange, it does get harder to prevent it from feeling personal.

      Oh good, we’re slackers on Thanksgiving planning together! 😀

      Like

  3. How about a nice cuppa tea? ❤

    Hi mrs fringe. I'm sitting here with my kitty. Blowing like a hurricane right now and if feels like I've weathered a few storms of late. I know I'm not the only one. We can all use a little down time, time to center ourselves, get ourselves square again.

    I'm thinking of you right now, hoping you are indulging, just a little bit, on fish tank time. I'm on kitty time right now. Very nice, indeed.

    xo kk

    Liked by 1 person

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