^^The above title means nothing.  I’m a bit scattered today but feel like yapping, so this will be a scattered post.

I woke up this morning happy to not hear the sound of rain, looking forward to that first morning vat of coffee with an hour to myself.  All quiet, Art Child still asleep, dogs still on their bed and Husband left early for work.

That early morning brain didn’t calculate quickly enough.  Dogs still on their bed with me out of mine.  Yup, left the bedroom and walked through a stream of dog piss.  Aaah, kidney disease in an old, sizable dog.  Remember folks, I don’t live in a house.  It’s a high rise building, which means even if I “catch him” mid pee, at this point there’s no stopping him til I can push him out the door to the yard.  It’s leaving the apartment, waiting for the elevator, riding the elevator down, and then walking through the lobby to get outside.  Don’t ask, the answer is yes, I have been walking him more frequently.  Good times.

So after I washed the floor for the twelfth time this week and got the girl to school, I went for a walk.

Strolled down Broadway to the super duper stupor inducing home store.  I’ve spent a lot of money in that store over the years, but most of it has been outfitting dorm rooms for the boys.  Not today.  Today I was buying a mop.  Why yes, I have been washing the floor with a sponge on my hands and knees.  And double yes, my back has been singing an aria between the extra walks and the floor washing.  I’m tired, I’m frustrated, I was not just buying a mop, I was buying the king of all mops.  Of course, the one I wanted wasn’t on a shelf reachable by customers, but the man in the store was nice and accommodating, brought over the 50 foot rolling ladder and brought down the box I wanted.

Came home, opened the box, and found these.

Have no fear, Fringelings.  I’m a mother of three.  I’ve assembled countless Lego sets and performed surgery on multiple Barbies.  Not nearly as tricky as all the individual little bags made it seem it would be.  And now, a question.

Why has no one made me buy this before today?  I love this fucking thing.  I honestly couldn’t believe what a great job it did, while leaving the floor dry within seconds.  Well worth the $11,000 for a mop. Less 20%, because I remembered the coupon, whee!

Soon I  have to go pick up Art Child.  But first, I’m going to enjoy my floors while they’re clean and dry.