Which Way?

A depiction of Bugs Bunny's evolution through ...

A depiction of Bugs Bunny’s evolution through the years. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What’s that old quote, and who said it?  Something like, the only constant is change. Quite likely I’ve mangled it for my own meandering purposes.

I’ve been working on, trying to work on, the new WIP.  The new WIP, the old WIP, the WIP being queried, I’m getting dizzy.  Let me slap a title on there for convenience.  Working title–Astonishing.

Pretty sure I’ve already mentioned this one is much slower going.  Like glacial.  Wrote a paragraph yesterday and when I closed the file I wasn’t sure if I should think, “woot!” or “wtf?”  Afterwards, I was talking to a writing friend about it.  Told her this one feels different, the process is different.  Instead of feeling a fluid rush for each scene, it’s like the words have changed form, changed states. Instead of a flow, I’ve got nothing tangible and then whomp! I’ve been clipped upside the head with a hard-packed snowball.  That’s my paragraph.  On a good day, a page.  On a few notable days I was able to produce a few pages.

LOST: Snowball

LOST: Snowball (Photo credit: jaqian)

The strangest part is that while I’m not “flowing,” I don’t feel stuck, either.  The frustration is more theoretical.  It’s summer, my time is more flexible, I should be able to produce more.  It’s been a thousand degrees outside for a week here in NY.  There shouldn’t be anything frozen anywhere.  Stooped with a friend the other morning, and I swear I was melting.  When I stood up there was a clear outline of my butt on his stoop.  In sweat.    Stooping, for non-NYers, is an outdoor chat, held on the stoop of the front steps of a house or building.  A time honored tradition in the outer boroughs, second only to stoop-ball, both less frequently indulged here in Manhattan.

But I like it.  I like what I’ve got, and where I think I can go.  I tell myself this is better.

And then I beat myself up for the fact that I’ve yet to introduce my second main character.  He’s a hoarder, and after four weeks of obsessing and researching I’ve yet to decide on the primary focus for his hoard.

Then I wonder if this is just me tripping myself up again.  A metaphor for the rest of my life, not sure what the next step is until I’ve fallen into a hole and the only option is to climb out.

I think I haven’t gotten enough beach days.

23 comments

  1. I love Buddy Guy! Maybe the hoarder lost his wife years ago and she collected dolphins having picked up the first one on their honeymoon…then years after she died he saw a dolphin and it kind of snapped him out of his self pity party, it made him think that she still watches over him…on the flip side he began collecting dolphins, figurines, news paper articles on the healing powers of dolphins, magazine photos, stuffed dolphin animals, snow globes, movies with dolphins, tapes and CDs with the sounds of dolphins – everything dolphin! haha I don’t know… 😉

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  2. Your dis-ease relative to your writing isn’t unique, mrs fringe. you know that. I think you’re slipping into ‘should’ mode. pressuring yourself. add to that your uncertainty about things, writing-related and non.

    and it’s so hot. . .

    I shall put you in a bubble. I do that with friends and family members who are not quite where they want or need to be, struggling with things, some tangible, some not. An iridescent bubble, nice and quiet and cool inside, which protects, insulates, and calms the soul. Peacefully existing for a little while, floating above the fray.

    xo mrs fringe

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    1. The hesitation, self doubt, and yes, dis-ease seem to be part and parcel of writing for too many of us.

      In the meantime, yes, thank you. I’ll take that bubble, and the cool peace inside it.

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  3. What’s that hoarder hiding hmmmm? Sounds like a mystery worth unraveling maybe later. Kick back and enjoy the summer. It’s what I’m doing now. The garden and beach and I are going steady for the next short while.

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    1. How delicious that statement sounds, going steady with the beach and garden! 🙂

      I’m trying not to push through just to push through, and let the story be told at its own pace.

      Thanks TimeThief! ❤

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  4. Stooping, sounds a lot like catching up on your neighbor’s porch 🙂 Reading about your writing challenges is fascinating. I find my little project ebbs and flows – I’ve been stuck on a topic for months so I decided to just stop blinking about that for now. So far, so good, but I know I will have to backtrack.

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    1. Yup, stooping is the urban equivalent 🙂

      I like that, yes, ebbs and flows is an accurate description of writing. It’s low tide right now, but I have faith we’ll both see high tide again soon.
      xoxo

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    1. Thanks Joni 🙂

      Funny, I keep wondering if it’s a “sign” that he shouldn’t be a POV character. But my gut says he needs to be, and avoiding his viewpoint would just be me taking the easy way out.

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  5. If all this has you hitting the Buddy Guy, you’re all in. Put on a loop track of some of that 1980s Brit Pop…Flock of Seagulls, English Beat, “Come on Eileen”, etc. – it was made for mindles release of mental burdens, like, “do these shoes make my butt look fat?” ot “Am I supposed to shave the left side, or the right side, of my head to let everyone know I’m not gay?” When you bottom out with some Lightnin’ Hopkins, or “The Thrill is Gone” by B.B., then I’ll call 911. If I had a video of “Built for Comfort” by Howlin’ Wolf I would post it for you.
    Later….

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      1. Ohhhh, you’re wicked. I lobbied for some dumb reggae thing that had a chorus of “I’m not getting up today,” or something like that. Sounds like you’ve put him on notice, or he’s got a seriously dry sense of humor after living in FringeLandia.
        Later…

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