Pushing Forward

Sometimes I would like to say forget it, crawl into bed, and stay there for about three weeks.  If you hadn’t noticed, I’m in one of those stretches right now but hiding in a bed of apathy isn’t possible, or feasible.  Instead I will smile and nod and use the apathy as sunscreen. Keep doing what needs to be done until I forget to apply the sunscreen and realize (about three days later) I haven’t burned after all.

 

Perfect sky, no?

Perfect sky, no?

So strange, isn’t it?  I live in the land and age of immediate gratification, entitlement.  No matter how aware I am of these ridiculous and selfish concepts, they’re insidious.  I want it IwantitIwantit….Part of the daily bombardment of media and those who seem to be living large all around me.

 

But Fringeland is all about caution and hurry up and wait.  Wait for bills, wait for money to pay said bills, wait for test results, wait for responses to queries, and the writing itself, for me, is a slow process.  For every hour I spend writing I probably spend another three thinking about what and how to write those words, and then another two editing.  And of course, waiting for apathy to blow over, replaced with the usual numb inertia with those invaluable moments of peace. Of this is okay.  I’m okay.

 

I’m thinking about all of this as I push forward with my WIP.  Slow going, this one.  No beach read here, I want it to have the intensity of my short stories. Which means each and every word has to be the right one.  (This is not to say genre fiction isn’t written carefully, with serious attention to craft, just a different style.) Darker than the last, but equally surreal.  I’ve decided I have enough realism in my day to day.  For now, I’m sticking to the literary equivalent of surrealism. Enough reality to be recognizable, no elves, dragons, or fae, but where the impossible just is.

Yves Tanguy Indefinite Divisibility 1942, Albr...

Yves Tanguy Indefinite Divisibility 1942, Albright Knox Art Gallery, Buffalo, New York (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The other night Husband and I went out for dinner.  It was raining, but not one of the crazy storms we’ve been experiencing.  Weekends in the city are fairly quiet, just the peasants without summer homes or plans, so the restaurant was half empty.  The restaurant itself has big plate glass doors that fold back, and they were open since the evening was cool.  As I was bemoaning the hideousness of my twitter pitching experience, the awning covering the outdoor tables fell.  Talk about surreal.  At that point it was raining enough that I think there was only one table with customers out there.  I told you, Fringelings, nothing good comes of al fresco dining in the city.  A waitress was clipped in the head but able to get right back up.  When we left, she was standing near the entry, ice pack on her head.  I swear I could feel her willing that damned bump and nausea to die back down.  Who can afford a day  or two or three of lost tips?

Onward. I had planned to query the finished manuscript slowly, and I have been, but it occurred to me last night that if I go any slower I might as well not query at all.  So I’ll pick up the pace a bit.  And I’ll keep working on this new WIP, searching for the right words.

31 comments

  1. Hi, you’ve found me in spam or is this ok because you’ve unspammed me?
    Firstly, that’s a hard place to be, physically as well as emotionally draining. And i know what you mean about the thinking (which I enjoy) and the editing (which I hate). They do take so damn long.
    Chin up, Girl. Go for a drive! Have a gin with me.
    Lastly, love a bit of the Tull and those jumpsuits. I want.
    Hope you find this.

    Like

    1. Yes! You’re not in spam, not sure why, but I’ll take it.

      I’m headed to the beach with my Flower Child for a couple of hours, we need it.

      But later, I’ll bring the gin, you bring the jumpsuits 😉

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  2. Hurry up and wait seems to be my song these days – not that I selected it – not that any of us do. Hurry all week to be ready for weekend guests. Wait for hours for them to arrive through missed ferry sailings and wrong turns on the right highway exits. On phone coaching and on site directions bringing them closer, yet still far way. Then like the sun breaking through a cloudy sky they are here and we are off to the beach. Out of cellphone reach we bask in sun and are cooled by the waves. Hurry up and wait are around tomorrow’s slave song; today our freedom song is nowhere to go and nothing to do.

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    1. TT, that was absolutely lovely (especially you weren’t the one missing ferry connections).

      We must have been reading from the same song book today, after I posted, Flower Child and I packed a bag and went to the beach–an unplanned pleasure.

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  3. I am looking over your tags, which I am quite amused by…Dog dog poop downward mobility dreams, fatigue fiction fish photos, homeless Housewife hunger Jewelry Laughter medical mayhem…there seems to be a bit of poetry in all that. If you’re not going to use it, I will. My new occupation – tag thief ! I’ll hurry up and wait for an answer to that 🙂
    Later….

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      1. Beautiful poetry flows from me for hours, until I sit down to put it on the screen, then it reads like Elmer Fudd. But, I’ve heard rumblings of a Fuddish underswell coming from the ghost of The Village.
        And, I do not steal…Liberate !
        Later….

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  4. Oh I love how you explore the word apathy in this post, particularly ‘in a bed of apathy’ and using it as sunscreen only to discover you’ve been burned after all. You’re going to make it, you’re a good writer, hang in there!
    xo
    Diana

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      1. It’s getting there as far as drying out in Calgary. I feel for those in High River though, some still can’t get back into their homes to even just assess the damage. Thanks for askin!

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  5. I find it amazing that you pump out a post this sweet to read, about a subject like apathy and waiting – all while you are pitching and working on a WIP. When you describe the city on a weekend it sounds pretty appealing.

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  6. I would hate to have to go out at night when it is raining but then I am not a night going out person any more I am getting old……………….lol I like to be home when the weather is not that great…….also I prefer to go out for lunch over dinner.

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  7. Now you’re starting a resurgence of interest in Jethro Tull…I’m going to see if I still have my Yes albums stashed away in one of my many safehouses around the world. Had someone I know who hates anything non-slashing guitar-based tell me Dr. John’s new CD is the best collection of music ever made. Imagine that…it’s easy if you try – no hell below us, above us only sky…..
    Later….

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    1. Success! I love Tull. Very disappointing, though when I saw them in the ’80s, Ian Anderson had the beginnings of laryngitis, kept walking off the stage–canceled the next night’s show. 😦

      Dr John, hmm? 😀

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      1. Favorite band right now – Gogol Bordello…a bunch of New York gypsey punks who know how to tear stuff up. Saw a show they did at a place called Axis Mundi, or something like that, in NYC. Highly recommended instead of speedballs.
        Later…

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          1. You’ll find a bit…they’ve been discovered. Love the mix of old Ukrainian gypsey fiddler, young gypfey maniac, reggae bass player, rock guitar player, and a couple of looney Russian gals who ride around on bass drums at the end of shows. Saw them at the House of Blues in Cleveland, and those places are made for live music riots….too fun.
            Later…

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          2. They played at the Indpendence Day concert here two weeks before I got here. I was pissed. They tour in remote areas of the world, and seem to love Costa. They’re headlining this year’s show, I think. The gigs they list on their Page is certainly not one that will make them rich, but it looks like they get around and have too much fun.
            Look for “Pale Tutti” or “Start Wearing Purple” or “Intercontinental Hustle.” They’re an embarassment to the motley groups of posers who call themselves bands nowadays.
            Later…

            Like

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