Poser!

Venecian Masks

Venecian Masks (Photo credit: ChaTo (Carlos Castillo))

This morning I made Flower Child scrambled eggs for breakfast.  She thought it was her lucky day.  Nope, I didn’t get to the grocery store yesterday morning, and that’s all I’ve got.  The last two slices of bread are for her lunch.  I would have made a smoothie, but there’s brown crap running from the faucet this morning, and the blender is still sitting in the sink waiting to be washed from Nerd Child’s smoothie yesterday morning.  This also means I didn’t want to make another bowl dirty by beating the eggs first.  What the hell, mixing them in the pan with the spatula is the same thing, right?

Fake it ’til you make it.  Kinda sorta.

My motto is probably more along the lines of  fake it ’til it’s bedtime.  Out of standard, practical for a school day breakfast fare?  Scrambled eggs.  Haven’t done laundry?  Wear dress clothes.  “Oh, Mrs Fringe, look at you!  Doing something fun/special/important today?”  Why yes, yes I am.  Pretending I haven’t worn every last t-shirt I own.  Except for that Dallas Cowboys one circa 1981 with very inappropriate holes worn through it, that for some reason I never toss when getting rid of old clothes.

Feel like crap?  Makeup.  Double crap, can’t remember where I last put my makeup bag.

Gained some weight over the winter and too lazy to work out?  God bless the designer who decided empire waists should come back into style (five years ago is too still in), along with seamstresses of flowing skirts and A-lines.

Housewife

Housewife (Photo credit: garryknight)

Doubting that you’ve pulled off or can pull off a fun, light beach read type novel, cause let’s face it, you aren’t all that fun and lighthearted?  Keep going, start the next one, only have this one be dark, not fun, and not likely to be spotted on the boardwalk.  Wait, this doesn’t quite fit with the equation, does it?  Hmm, well, at least I’ll have a writah-ly-type excuse when this one doesn’t sell.  Angst isn’t for everyone, after all.

Given that I’m so fucking excellent at faking it, I can’t imagine why I haven’t yet made it.

8 comments

  1. Yes, five years ago totally works for me. And the “all the laundry is dirty except the can’t wear out in public kind” always happens this time of year, doesn’t it?? (Though I guess you can fake deathly illness out walking the beasts to explain the sweater in June.)

    Oh. And fun and lighthearted beach reads have a smaller possibility of actually HAPPENING than the sci fi elements of the books I am currently reading. Heh.

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    1. This time of year is hard, this last sprint. But I can’t help but wonder if we notice the lack of clean laundry more, no coat to hide what you’re wearing, and ummm, sweat in the already worn stuff 😉

      I believe you’re right on beach read vs sci fi coming true. Hell, half of the stuff I read in sci fi novels when I was a teen ARE now real.

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  2. Mixing it in the pan totally counts. You just break the right away, so they don’t set up. Also, the less laundry I have, the more dressed up I become. This was especially true in college (Dallas Cowboys, though…..)

    But yes. Fake it like you know. Fake it like everything’s cool. That’s the way things are.

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    1. I have to admit, college age was long ago. I care less now 😀 I can honestly say I don’t know where/how I would have gotten a sports-related t-shirt, let alone a Dallas team.

      Yup, cool. That’s me, chilling on the fringe 😉

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  3. Hah! This totally sounds like me. Except for the dress up clothes. I have a strong suspicion that the only dress up clothes I have are from the last funeral I attended.
    Last night’s dinner was scrambled eggs. But hey, I classed it up w/Romano cheese & Chives. That sounds cool, right? So what if it was chives left over from Sunday’s fancy meal and the last corner from my wedge of Romano.

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    1. The beauty of muted colors, they can be used for funerals, missed laundry days, and dress up. Versatility is key. 😉

      Breakfast for dinner is always considered a treat around here. 😀

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  4. I have never been a fan of scrambled eggs I make myself I have had them in restraunts at times and liked them but I never seem to be able to make them nice enought but I keep trying sometimes I eat them sometimes the dog eats them……………lol

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