Alert the Authorities

Professor Kobb

Professor Kobb (Photo credit: gothicburg)

Something I’ve noticed in a lot of areas of life these days–highlighted in the blogosphere, everyone’s an authority.  Why?  How is this?  I’m an average gal and as such, I’m an authority on…

Nothing.  That’s right, nothing.  Tons of blogs and bloggers out in cyberspace, the number larger than degreed professionals, and yet, so many are “experts.”

I write, and sometimes I blog about writing.  These posts are about my process, my experiences.  Certain aspects of my process and my experiences have a common thread with some other wanna be writers.  This doesn’t make me an expert.  And if it did, what would my expertise be in?  Wanna beism?  If I am ever published, it will still be my experiences, not writer’s rules to live by.

Sandro Botticelli - Madonna del Magnificat

Sandro Botticelli – Madonna del Magnificat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Even within the blogs of professionals on writing, the advice and rules vary widely from blog to blog, professional to professional.  Subjective. Don’t get me wrong, I love books on writing, I own dozens, and have read dozens more, by published authors, well published authors, agents, and editors.  Some are useful, some are motivating, and many more I’ve kept looking back to the “about the author” page to figure out how and why this book was published.  But it was, I bought it, others bought it.  So there you have it, proof of my lack of authority on writing.

Sometimes I blog about parenting.  Again, my experiences. How in the world would I tell anyone else what would work in their home, for their children?  I have three kids, each quite different from the next.  If I have to tweak my approach for each of my own three, I think we’re well out of the realm of tweaking if I’m talking about someone else’s kids.  Subjective.

Sometimes I blog about being a woman.  Again, there are certain common experiences in being a woman that most of us experience.  I can only speak to being an undereducated woman in New York.  But there are more and different experiences for a woman who doesn’t have children, doesn’t get married, lives in the suburbs, lives on a farm in Kansas, has a PHD in electrical engineering, lives in Kuwait.  Tons of “women’s” experts out there.  Such high authorities, in fact, they’re going to tell all of us what to do with our bodies, how to have a relationship, and how much money we should earn.  *This is definitely fodder for a whole other post.  Maybe an article.  Maybe a book.  Oh wait, I don’t have a platform apart from being a woman and living as one.  See?  No authority here.

Uterus Embroidery Hoop Art

Uterus Embroidery Hoop Art (Photo credit: Hey Paul Studios)

I blog about living in New York.  I was born and raised here.  I can guarantee the woman living up the street in her brownstone doesn’t think I’m an expert on life in New York.  Trust me, her New York is different than mine.  I know, it’s hard to trust someone who isn’t an authority, but try.

Sometimes I blog about reefing.  If you saw the sad state of my tank at the moment (running dark for a few days to kill a green hair algae outbreak) you’d snicker.

How about another favorite of mine, being broke?  Let’s be honest, I’m pretty excellent at it.  I have had the requisite hundred thousand hours of practice.  Or have I?  The guy who lives on the church steps might not think so.  I’m guessing if he read Mrs Fringe he’d call me out for being a fraud.

I think this leaves dog poop.  Mrs Fringe is an authority on dog poop.

Then again, maybe not.

It’s subjective.

Dale Chihuli giant blue poop Walmart bag sculpture

Dale Chihuli giant blue poop Walmart bag sculpture (Photo credit: reynolds.james.e)


  1. You know more about reefing than I do so in my eyes you are and authority on tank life. 😀 I think I am an authority on traffic on the LIE, I spend A LOT of time stuck there, observing. MY expert take on it is that all other drivers are idiots. I do get what you mean though, its all relative.


      1. I am also an authority on bugga all so you are not alone………………….I would rather a broach over a badge unless it is badge that allows me to go and give the idiots in the world fines………………..


  2. I’m an expert on all the random things that fly through my brain at a million miles an hour. Doesn’t make me an “expert” on ADHD but I guess it’s close. Love the sculpture. 🙂


    1. I believe that makes you a random expert. 😉
      I like to keep my head in the sand with my mind blank–maybe I’m really an ostrich expert. 😀

      And welcome! to Mrs Fringe!


  3. I wonder this all the time!!! When did we all become experts on everything? How did all of these gurus get in the picture? Was trying to think of what subject I’m an authority on, but I came up empty. I do have some questions about dog poop though–I’ll e-mail them. 😛


    1. As I read your comment, I hear Cat Stevens playing through my mind–that’s it! You’re an expert on moon shadows. Start leaping and hopping, woman!

      *All poop questions will be answered in the order in which they’re received. 😛


  4. An authority about dog poop. Husband is looking over my shoulder – again – and he says it reminds him of that film “The Madness of King George” where the doctors are always examining the king’s excrement and commenting on the size, texture, color, etc. He’s an authority on weird movies, and I’ll leave him to it. I personally do nothing unless I see a WordPress authority endorse it. 🙂
    On my Way….


  5. My nose was itching…isn’t that one of those things people say happen when someone is talking about them, or writing about them in this case. This post reminds me of Alfred Korzybski, the rhetoric guy, whose biggest pet peeve was people who said things like, “New Yorkers are a rude people,” or, “Men have a hard time expressing their feelings,” or, “Two year-olds are impossible.” The blanket statements that beg the question, “Which New Yorkers?”, “What men, what age, from where, what sexual preference, and how did two year-olds get drawn into this?” Authorities appeal to these people who deal in easy generaltities. Throw me a life preserver.


    1. I’m out of thoughts. 😉 Let me know when your palms are itching.

      I’m fine and good with using a blog to share opinions, it’s when it’s used as a “platform” to tell others yours is the only right one…And yet, I’ve been thinking about a series of posts on women in America today. I’m guessing I’ll violate my own rules and get a tad preachy. Slap me when I go overboard, k?


  6. It’s all a part of “branding”, no? I think expertise, sadly, is in the eye of the beholder. I read a few blogs that are putatively written by publishing experts are breathlessly followed by a horde of as-yet-unpublished writers. I dunno.

    I take most things with a grain of salt and reality-check stuff whenever possible. Being a journo, and skeptical, by nature or training, I am very disinclined to assume someone is “expert” simply because they insist they are.


  7. I’m not an expert at anything either – well, I do have pretty vast experience with dog poop too, but I’m not sure I would call that expertise. Dog hair, maybe.


      1. My mom had a friend who spun yard as a hobby and had a line she marketed called Feline and Cur – I have yet to find furnishings that work with dog hair except for that retro flotaki rug.


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