And You Will Bow Before Me

Sculpture by Ernemann Sander: Badende in front...

Sculpture by Ernemann Sander: Badende in front of Rheinisches Landesmuseum Bonn (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My plan/goal/resolution for 2013 was to write and submit.  I’m writing.  Submitting, not so much.  Ok, not at all.  I think my idea was to have at least one submission out each month.  No, I’m not going to look back and check, just in case I was even more delusional than one a month. At first I thought, “I have plenty of time, January has 31 days!”

Then I didn’t think about it at all.  In the last week, I remembered.  Well, no problem.  Yanno, in that writing is easy kind of way.  I’ll make up for lost time, and send out five submissions this month.  The strangest thing happened, though.  The more I began researching where I should send my stories, the more I had other, fabulous ideas that needed to be written down right now. And the more I thought of revisions that had to be made, on stories I haven’t looked at in forever, right now.  And of course, the more I needed to check in on Facebook, right now.  Hard to believe I’ve yet to decide what to submit where.

Submit. Submission.  Submissive.  Submerge. Not loving these words.

dark water

dark water (Photo credit: rafa2010)

I know all about submission, I read Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty series.  I even read the Story of O–and what a surprise that was, found by my 15 year old self in the poetry section of a used book store.  But what else would I call it?  An offering?  I don’t know about you, but that still brings the sacrificial lamb to my mind.

But still, I’m going to do it.  Why?  Because I write, and that’s what people who write, do.  We write, revise, delete, bang our heads into the wall, write some more, edit some more, and then submit.  It’s funny, the stages you go through as a writer.  Not everyone goes through the same ones, or in the same order, but I’ve spoken with a lot of writers in my forty thousand years.  Female, male, self taught, MFAs, published or unpublished, the variations of this theme are all sewn with the same thread.  As a child you write, and show your work to everyone.  Then you begin to hoard it.  No one understands me. Absolutely true, no one understands what you don’t share.  Then you begin to share again, with those you think will understand your golden thoughts.  And then someone doesn’t, or points out the flaws, and it’s crushing. (This stage may now be extinct, the current and more recent generations have the internet, allowing them to learn everyone has to go through this, and someone taking time to point out flaws and errors is a good thing).  Then you write again and dream about being a writ-ah.  Or a huge commercial success.  And you write more and truly begin to learn about editing, revising, rewriting, sharing your work, being critiqued, and the publishing business. And you begin to submit.  Some of us stall out and go through these stages several times.

Writing, pursuing publication, it’s a weird thing.  You have to have complete and total faith in yourself and your work, but at the same time you have to be open to critique, open to learning more, improving craft, understand that rejection of that work is part of the process.  Pride but not hubris.

Will I get five submissions out by the end of this month?  Maybe.  But I will send my work out.  It will be on submission, not me.

Though there may have to be some floggings.

English: A woman flogging a submissive man on ...

English: A woman flogging a submissive man on a bed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

28 comments

    1. LOL. that’s absolutely the first step.
      I actually have several completed somethings, but there’s that other inner voice that says, “I think there’s more tweaking to do.” 😉

      Like

      1. Rest assured, it doesn’t take much today. 😀

        Ok here is something that had occurred to me… When I was a kid/much younger adult back when time was a concept that had meaning I used to draw a lot. Mostly pencil, I like to sketch and shade. ANYWAY my point being… You can only change a pencil drawing so much before you ruin it, a drawing reaches it’s peak, the best it’s going to be at some point and part of the art is recognizing when it’s finished.

        I have a never ending need to edit myself – what I write in my blog (without is without aspirations of “writing”, just self expression that I want to sound just right), and struggled with that when I drew as well. But when I got it right my drawings did look better. 🙂

        Like

        1. 😀 You’re absolutely right, and I suspect this perfectionist/procrastination technique is interchangeable among most if not all the arts.
          I’m getting there, I’m getting there. 🙂

          Like

  1. I agree that posting about intentions adds some heft to their all-too-ephemeral existence! I use blog posts that way also. It’s quite an education in what I actually am resisting!

    And I’ve also had this same situation this year, not with submitting finished pieces (Ha! whatever that means) but with expecting that I can complete a lot more projects in any given time than I turn out to be able to.

    /blather

    Good luck with it all!

    Like

  2. Give you head a good shake and see if that voice telling you to submit falls out, if it doesn’t then give yourself a good shake and sit your ass down and write then sumbit damn it…………..don’t make me come there……………….lol

    Like

    1. I dunno, Joanne, it could be quite scary if the voices begin falling out of my head :p

      But yes, I’m working on it. *wondering if Joanne will bring the whip with her* 😀

      Like

  3. makes flogging look rather fun. And I love your alliterated angst (the alliteration not the angst). BTW don’t kiss envelopes as you put them in pst boxes. Like frogs IT DOESNT WORK.

    Like

  4. What great pics to go along with your musing… Husband writes – husband is often frustrated. I snap pictures of whatever catches my fancy, then download – Husband puts earphones on to cut out my happy chatter while he tortures himself. I pat him on the head and tell him it’s the same with all writers/artists – he knows better. I’m going to have him read this post, like feeding him comfort food. Thanks !
    On my Way…

    Like

    1. “cut out my happy chatter while he tortures himself.”
      I love a spouse who gets it 🙂 I’ve seen some of your photos on your Husband’s blog, love them! I think you’re an excellent team.

      Thank you for the good thoughts on my photo choices, I’m not particularly visual, and try to put extra effort when choosing photos to go with the posts.

      If you look back to my older posts, July/August/Septemberish, you’ll find some of my (lousy) photos of my reef critters. I’m not a gifted photographer, but I ❤ reefing, and the photography that goes with it.
      🙂

      Like

      1. Will do…and thanks for the compliment. All I have to do now is get frustrrated Husband off the computer – or at least quit staring at it and mumbling about alliteration.
        On my Way…

        Like

          1. Motherboarded…has anyone thought of that as an interrogation strategy? And, he keeps a machete on his writing table…for cutting purposes, he claims. The blood on the blade tells me when he’s in a particularly unforgiving frame of mind.
            On my Way…

            Like

          2. You are too much…you follow where my bent mind leads, and sometimes And, just as often, I find you already there…with a “what took you so long?” look on your face.
            Later…

            Like

Join the Discussion

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s