Splitting Hairs


I need a haircut. In my mind, I look like this:


Nichols as Lieutenant Uhura.

Nichols as Lieutenant Uhura. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But the mirror shows more like this:


The famous tongue image

The famous tongue image (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been thinking (read, moaning and groaning to Husband) I need a haircut for about a month now.  I know it’s true, because when I walked into Mother-In-Law’s apartment yesterday afternoon, she asked if Flower Child had done my hair for me.


I like to look presentable but I run into several obstacles.  1) I hate looking in the mirror.  Truly, I’d rather have the Evil Queen’s mirror (Snow White) than the bitch harping on me from mine.

2) I don’t enjoy going for haircuts, or anything else that involves strangers touching me.  Yes, I’m uptight. Accept it, I have.


3) The ever-looming budget.  I can get my hair cut next week, but that means I have to skip Friday Night Madness this week.  Not a tragedy or a hardship, but a bummer.  Even in my broke and Fringe life, I recognize this as a first world obstacle.


4) I haven’t had a haircut in five years that wasn’t interrupted by the school nurse, calling to tell me Flower Child was sick or seizing or both.  I haven’t received a phone call from the nurse yet this year, I’d like to stretch this as long as I can.


I don’t dye my hair, it’s salt and pepper and yes, I like it this way. But thanks for giving your best guesstimate on how much younger I’d look and you’d feel if I dyed it. I spend about two weeks googling hairstyles for gray hair before I go.  Why? I see the same three images, regardless of year, season, or current styles.


English: Actress Jamie Lee Curtis autographs h...

English: Actress Jamie Lee Curtis autographs her books for children in Building 150 at Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam, Hawaii, April 1, 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Paula Deen holds court

Paula Deen holds court (Photo credit: Bristol Motor Speedway & Dragway)










Cruella (Photo credit: KerriNikolePhotography)

Ok, I made up the Cruella one, Emmylou Harris is usually the third photo to pop up. Maybe I should go for Cruella this year.  It might just satisfy Mirror.




  1. Roflol… I just KNEW Cruella was going to show up. 😀
    I truly hope you can make it for a cut and have the phone remain blessedly silent. Mine is way past due for a cut as well… similar budget zone too.


  2. And little girls with long/formerly long-until-they-cut-it-themselves hair have drawers to raid, too. I was cleaning the house one day and my hair was driving me bonkers so I just grabbed one of the Empress’ hair things conveniently nearby without thinking and pulled it all back. Ran out later to the store without a second thought, and pulled it out later to realize I’d had an elastic covered in an explosion of neon tulle in my hair most of the day. 😀


      1. (laughing) looks being the operative word. I need to condition the crap out of it and use a 400 degree flat iron on it because it’s neither curly nor straight more like un-uniformed kinks and the odd burst of frizz! But thank you. 😉


  3. One benefit of having your kind of hair is it always looks like you planned the style or lack of it. Not much you can do with flat, no body straight as a board hair when it gets overgrown. Hope you get it cut soon. I am so thankful my daughter grew up with hair cutting as one of her many many gifts.


  4. Diana sent me. I put off haircuts until I have no choice but to get it cut or wear a baseball cap, often I find that the baseball cap can actually buy me another couple of months 🙂


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